Fortunes files

public class StubFactoryFactoryProxyImpl extends StubFactoryFactoryDynamicBase //
Seen in the source of Sun's JDK.

// WARNING: STATS_COUNTER_LIST_* is a very large macro that is causing MSVC
// Intellisense to crash.  It was broken into two macros (each of length 40
// lines) rather than one macro (of length about 80 lines) to work around
// this problem.  Please avoid using recursive macros of this length when
// possible.

The guys who invented autoconf/automake/configure/libtool must have been drug
addicts.  -- Garbeam

<anothy_x> it always seems bizarre to me when people are doing anything
new-ish in asn.1.  i expect to documentation to be written in old english or norse
runes or something.

A futurist is just an early revisionist.  -- Tim Newsham

Dis code doesnt fuck arround -- cinap_lenrek

ssh, the emacs of network protocols

A libertarian is a conservative who has been arrested.

A libertarian is a liberal who learned economics.

FIST-philosophy: Fuck It Sucks Terribly -- n0nsense speaking about dbus in

people who wear clever computing shirts are the opposite of samurais -- Capso

CL's loop is so powerful that people invented functional programming so that
they'd never have to use it.  -- G_Morgan

Ruby on Rails, the PHP of a new generation.  -- beefhooked

You should use an in-memory SQL database!  It's the answer to all data structure
questions.  -- Ian Lance Taylor

every time i look at main.go, i get hungry -- dho

you throw humans into lions?  Wouldn't that anger animal rights evangelists?
Don't you have to cook the humans first?  -- 20h

Dr. Strange Love: How I Learned to Stop Being a Fag and Love the Clit -- Capso

gentoo|gen-poo| noun - 1.  The sport of hitting compiler bugs.

op-ti-mize [verb (trans.)]* ...  (gcc) to modify executable code so that it fails
more quickly.

Cloud stands for: I'm too stupid to know about the server client concept.  -- 20h


OSX is the operating system personification of the Bourgeoisie tendancy towards
hedonistic uselessness

<kfx> there should be a way to compile without -Wulrich> rms doesn't wash his clothes because the
washing machine might have binary firmware

vt3@freenode#plan9> well, philosophy and plan 9 have something in common...they
are both dead.

major@freenode#vsta> uriel, understanding is like love, it comes to those who
accept it, not to those who beat it with a stick ;)

zcram@freenode#cat-v> "Mebibyte" sounds something an earthworm would yell when
it is being put on a fishHook.

<kfx@freenode#cat-v> [...] is it like #freebsd where networking questions
are met with complaints about george bush?

garbeam@freenode@cat-v> my proposal is that github needs a button on each
project "Report spam" button


    ( )
 _(_\ \)__
(____\___)) TO WIKIPEDIANS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  OR AS I CALL THEM WIKIPEDOS

<kfx@freenode#cat-v> TAOCP is fucking crucial, it's what allows you to
explain to your python-obsessed boss exactly why python, mathematically, can go
fuck itself

__20h__@freenode#cat-v> 1 yb (yard bit) = PI / 3 + 0.2143 eb (european bit)

"Can you hammer a spike through a six inch board with your penis?" "Not right
now." "Well, a girl has got to have her standards, you know?" -- Real Genius

perhaps Plan 9 is just the Black Books of software?  -- Charles H. Forsyth

zcram@freenode#cat-v> Clown commuting!  Trust your valuable data with us!  We
know how to take good care of it.  Our technititians are
	       24/7 working on making best effort to sustain first-class
	       enterprise level utilisation of important details.

this change placates the "paxctl" tool on so-called hardened Linux distributions
(as if normal distributions weren't already hard enough to use).  -- Russ cox

08:43 < zcram> what ever happened to finger?
08:44 < __20h__> zcram, it got sued for sexual infringement.

Why you are so obsessed by wildly mixing politics with your failure to understand
...  that there is no inconsistency in formating of composite literals and that
type declarations are not the same construct?  -- befelemepeseveze answer to Joan
Miller in the go-lang-nuts mailinglist.

<soul9> friend just travelled to sierra leone: he didn't have enough
bandwidth for xmpp.  irc was working fine

<kfx> haskell is [a domain specific language], specific to the .edu domains

<kfx> I gave a 'brief history of php' presentation once
<kfx> about how one of the core devs quit because he hated jews
<kfx> and the most prolific scurity dev quit because nobody listened to him
about all the horrible shit he found

Even if you think that a lobotomized flatworm could understand your instructions,
your luser probably won't.  -- alt.sysadmin.recovery FAQ

<Athas> Well, Linux printing was designed and implemented by people working
to preserve the rainforest by making it utterly impossible to consume paper.

In IEEE 754 sqrt(-0) = -0

11:31 < __20h__> All people should fetch the RSS feed of Steve Jobs' blog.
11:32 < __20h__> Wasn't it

<aiju#plan9> Ein Netzwerk [network], Ein OS, Ein Hase [bunny]

<EthanG#cat-v> rc isn't syntactic sugar so much as a small but nicely
meal.  Not quite substantial enough to be a steak, perhaps it's a fisherman's
pie.  Bourne shell is more like a raisin and bacon pie with a sprinkling of
sugared corn flakes on top.

<kfx#cat-v> "Adobe May Change To Monthly Patch Cycle" sounds suspiciously
close to "Adobe May Change To Monthy Python Cycle"

21:58 < kfx> I have yet to see a consitution or even a basic manifesto
21:58 < kfx> this revolution sucks
22:01 < __20h__> kfx, it was a short revolution.
22:01 < kfx> more like an oscillation then

I've talked myself into a superstition.  - rob pike

awk with their heads!  -- stanleylieber

<sqweek#inferno> oh wow, [in acme-sac] up and down arrows move the cursor
instead of scrolling, that's...  kind of annoying

[The] MIT/X [license] is the best balance between "Keep respect to me." and Kim-
Jong Uriel['s] "yes, build your physics package with it." -- Christoph Lohmann

Mastering CSS is like mastering throwing shit into a fan -- dreadlorde

Don't make your internal product name 'assmonkey', or you'll wind up with a real
product named 'assmonkey' -- bramcohen

he's a ruby programmer.  sex won't be biologically feasible for him for a few more
years -- kfx

I honestly and deeply hope you fail completely.  - Uriel regarding a project to
convert arXiv to XHTML/MathML

Metadata is always true!  -- 20h

The bikeshed has already been painted, and the painter has gone.  -- Russ Cox on a
proposal for changing the Go syntax.

There's no sense in reading books, when there's a computer game.  -- 20h on Dune

Incestuous necrophilia.  -- A literary fetish practiced by Brian Herbert and
Christopher Tolkien among others.

Facebook is an online social Dawn of the Dead.  Sign up to network and thousands
of people you vaguely remember are trying to eat your brain.  -- found by EthanG
on someone's...  twitter feed.

The X documentation is full of lies.  -- Theo de Raadt

<> I think it's hilarious that you're doing xlib
programming and your nick is 'kruhft'

[software security] placebos need to keep getting more complex to keep working.
-- EthanG

Should I be concerned that I've been rebuilding main on amd64/i386/powerpc for the
last ~12 hours and nothing's failed yet?  Success is almost always indicative of
impending doom.  -- Adam Conrad, on building Ubuntu packages

<blizzard> Mitch_Bradley_: I had dinner with the guy who created EFI the
other night
<cjb> blizzard: during the dinner, did he start wishing he had some kind of
piercing implement to eat with, and then proceed to design and implement it?

<uriel> fuck plan9

<aiju> [the] W3C couldn't make bread without at least three different
comitees and several hundred megabytes of XML involved

<aiju> females on IRC are like magnetic monopoles
<aiju> theory suggests their existence, but they haven't been found yet
<aiju> (and everything would be much nicer with them)

If you love job security and don't respect yourself, you will love Perl.  --
xardox in reddit/r/proramming

1975: EWD506 page 2: The German adoption of ALGOL 68 has had a similarly
paralyzing effect upon the Germans as the Russian decision in the late sixties to
develop as their next national computer series a bit-compatible copy of the IBM
360 - the greatest American victory in the cold war!  (PDF)

The password you entered is invalid.  Remember to use only letters, numbers, and
underscores in your password.

<ment> i hope there is some dishonesty otherwise i would be very
disappointed in mankind

<jse> If you've ever observed how these modern people (SIC) treat their pets
and their kids, you can tell it's the tail that wags the dog.

Harry Potter is the worst thing to happen to the printed word since the Web.  --

<dv-> i don't understand why firefox uses cpu% even when it's not doing
<kfx> [firefox] is always doing something, even if it's just calculating the
opportune moment to crash inexplicably

<EthanG> C++, the programming language which is nearest to human language
yet!  It has achieved context-dependance, what a great step!
<aiju> EthanG: does C++ have insults yet?
<uriel> C++ *is* an insult

<via> there's a reason linux users don't use lilo anymore, it [is] called
<martian67> if progress is grub2, i guess im a luddite

when in rome, FUCK THE ROMANS -- Capso

I use Plan 9.  Which is equivalent to saying I don't use computers.  By
transitivity, it's the smarter choice.  -- Capso

Linux - every program, package, piece of code, depends on some shit that will make
you want to scoop out your brains with a melonballer -- Capso

using debian is like deciding you want your computer to be run by the [Ministry of
Information Retival] in the movie Brazil -- kfx

100% of the shit I make up about Linux turns out to be true.  Either now or in the
future.  -- Capso

Linux is the embodiment of Plato's philosophy: by the time you have a shitty idea,
it already exists in the mythical world of Linux.  -- Capso

Whatever you want, wchar_t is not the solution.  -- Moritz Wilhelmy

the scene leaves anime alone because anime is the domain of wolf-shirted
mouthbreathing aspergers-suffering lardasses -- kfx

ktsuss stands for "keep the su simple, stupid", and as the name says, is a
graphical version of su written in C and GTK+ 2.


all bridges conceal trolls -- Stanley Lieber

<kfx> why does gnu ls link against libpthread
<sl> kfx: both begin with l, right
<jse> When in doubt...  link it.

<__20h__> I get horny, when people call »XML« »exml«.

[ 35.998] (II) Integrated Camera: Configuring as keyboard

calling Kant's philosophy bullshit seems a bit harsh to me, actual bullshit has
practical applications as a fertilizer -- aiju

If terrorists hate us for our freedom, does that mean they're starting to love us?

Voting is an essential part of the bureaucratic process.

romanticism: pick something random evil and terrible, convince yourself it's
actually good and utopic, ???, PROFIT -- aiju

using a GUI is like being a sub in BDSM.  your every action is constrained...  --

In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man would poke his eye out to fit in.  --

[Parrot/Perl 6 are] "the right thing" + Perl, thats some sign of the apoclypse --

Arsenic and Old Libc

The Importance of Being EMACS

The Comedy of Errnos

Much ADA About Nothing

if the Berkeley folks designed a spoon, it would be part of the dishwasher -- aiju

The Russian equivalent of 'rubber-hose cryptanalysis' is 'thermorectal
cryptoanalysis', which refers to a joke about using rectal insertion of a
soldering iron.

OOP spelled backwards is POO

puritanism is the fear that somebody somehwere, someplace might be happy

martian67: cat-v is the fear that somebody somehwere, someplace might be happy
with their software

kfx: cat-v is the fear that somebody, somewhere isn't fucking martian67's mother
in the ass

martian67> becoming a hacker is very tao like, you become it by not caring
about becoming it

sl> becoming a janitor is very tao like, stop yapping and pick up a broom

izaki: There should be a project to port spanish swearing to the international
community...  open-hostia

martian67: there you go uriel, there is the cat-v draw: an international effort to
tell everyone to go fuck themselves

welcome to #cat/b/

reasonably priced speech

<kfx> getting involved with the AUR is like fucking a fat chick to make
yourself gay

<kfx> GLIB: Gay/Lesbian/Indeterminate/Bisexual - The library package that
will fuck ANYTHING

I want to type Tab at the beginning of an empty file and suddenly my new project
appears.  -- 20h on tab-completion - refuge for promiscuous women

Graham's number (n.): the number of Ranma Saotome's fiancés

trolling is freedom, trolling is peace, trolling is our revolution!  -- 20h

we [people of #cat-v] should get renamed to cat --warning_level verbose -- aiju

[6523481.895302] Out of memory: Kill process 9452 (java) score 463 or sacrifice

once I did software for the military, it was a requirement that the ratio between
comments and code was at least 2.5.  -- Aram

1986 - Brad Cox and Tom Love create Objective-C, announcing "this language has all
the memory safety of C combined with all the blazing speed of Smalltalk." -- From
a brief history of programming languages.

"You'd better click something or I'll have to ship you some books." -- Dogbert on
his 'Zero clicks Purchase' patent.

If you're in need of a good startup idea: Claim a patent for crossing fingers to
build a luck generator.  -- mono in hackernews

BIND people could put security holes into a hello world program -- aiju

if Darwin truly did have an uncut copy of Mendel’s work, it is quite an
exhortation to read all your email.  -- John Carmack

"why would you do that"
"what didn't ken do"
"what would rob mock"
"what would dennis say something nice about while simultaneously implying that you
are a fucking moron"

sweet I'll click a reddit link to find out what fast-food employees think about
programming -- kfx

Rebooting with dbus+hal: dbus-send --system --print-reply
--dest="org.freedesktop.Hal" /org/freedesktop/Hal/devices/computer

I hear the chicks in Dresden used to be hot -- kfx

Error: opening audio device: Success

<kfx> __20h__: I'm an internationally ratified ISO standard.
<__20h__> kfx, are you XML based?
<kfx> no, asn.1

$ awk --copyleft | wc -c

<Tanami> plan 9 has a thriving and friendly community

assert(assert(assert(assert(assert(assert(1)))))) /* check for cosmic radiation */

<chowder> hello all.  I'm interested in plan9 but I really don't know much
about it.  I have yet to read all of the docs but I was wondering if anyone was
interested in porting wayland to plan9

<cinap_lenrek> i just know pokemon exception handling...  catch them all

The Universal Serial Bus is a complex and, therefore, a popular bus on personal
computers and other devices.  - nemo

treating info as a replacement for man pages is arrogance beyond any rational
description.  Then again, the quality of documentation for most GNU software
matches that of the code.  -- Lyndon Nerenberg

it's like instead of taking a bath, you buy a monster air filter, so no one will
notice the stench.  -- erik quanstrom on the creation of GNU info to manage Emac's

<aiju> ken is one of the parts you need to make an uriel
<aiju> a bit of Ken, a bit of Friedman, a bit of Jesus and Hitler as a
<EthanG> aiju: I 'heard' that to the tune of Mambo Number 5

This can't be what you mean.
http.Handle("/foo", http.TimeoutHandler(h, 3600e9, "fail whale"))
will work for the first hour and then send 503s forever after.
That's only useful if you're trying to implement Twitter.

<Capso> Freud retroactively copied Dahl when he entitled his manifesto, "The
Growth and Maintenance of Nazi Household Naming Complexity: From Birth to a
Dysfunction Future"

<martian67> once again plan9 is way ahead of the curve
<martian67> its had a filesystem that automaticly destroys data for years

aiju's plan9 faq - Q: does plan9 have ...  ? A: no

<kfx> what just happened to my net connection
<sl> kfx: maybe the people you steal wifi from are filing their taxes with
turbo tax.
<kfx> no way I'm totally paying for this connection now
<sl> kfx: maybe the people who steal wifi from you are filing their taxes
with turbo tax.
<kfx> this is south baltimore
<kfx> these people all hire jews for that

EFI should be renamed to WTFI -- aiju

aiju: ACPI -- Abominable Crap Produced by Intel

hilter was a filesystem -- Capso Markov

These appliances offer an innovative, pragmatic approach to harness the power of
SOA while simultaneously enabling you to leverage the value of your existing
application, security, and networking infrastructure investments.  -- Actual
description of IBM's "XML Firewall" appliance.

enterprise product descriptions are also written by Markov bots -- aiju

% cat /rc/bin/edify
$* |[2] awk ' { print "?" } '

EthanG briefly ponders filing fhs.pdf under books/fiction

Plan 9 software has more contradicting versions than the bible -- aiju

<cinap_lenrek> troff is the assembly language of text setting, lots of

<aiju> the X41 has a PCI bus [busno 4] Plan 9 does not show o.O
<uriel> fuck the bus, get on the train!
<martian67> uriel, "trains" are a propritary apple technology
<kfx> martian67: you're thinking of mantrains

Solaris is always different from everything else, almost by definition.  Being
stuck using Solaris makes being stuck using Linux look like a birthday party.  --
Russ Cox

<cinap_lenrek> throw a cat on a keyboard...  and you will see characters
you'v never seen!
<uriel> cinap_lenrek: with a cat on the keyboard you will see colored
blinking text on a rio terminal

< anth_x> when i did trade shows, i had a copy of the X11 manual, volume 0,
and a copy of the various draw man pages.  it was a good illustration.
<aiju> photoshop a hypothetical book containing all X11 source code, and
compare it to the earth-moon distanec

BDD is a second-generation, outside-in, pull-based, multiple-stakeholder,
multiple-scale, high-automation, agile methodology.  It describes a cycle of
interactions with well-defined outputs, resulting in the delivery of working,
tested software that matters.

There's nothing wrong with shooting, just as long as the right people get shot.
-- Harry Callahan

22:29 [maht] > so 9fans is like war poetry from the trenches of world war 1

thank christ they don't 'design' knives -- Boyd

Ekke, Ekke, Ekke, Ekke, Ptang, Zoo boing!

3\.  goth
 People who wish to be an individual by conforming to a subculture.
 see also irony.

     Goth: "I *am* more unique than you, more interesting than you.  And I'm
     *different*, because I conform to a subculture."


Imagine a giant cock flying towards your mouth, and there's nothing you can do
about it.  And you're like "Oh man, I'm gonna have to suck this thing", and you
brace yourself to suck this giant cock.  But then, at the last moment, it
changes trajectory and hits you in the eye.  You think to yourself "Well, at
least I got that out of the way", but then the giant cock rears back and stabs
your eye again, and again, and again.  Eventually, this giant cock is
penetrating your gray matter, and you begin to lose control of your motor
skills.  That's when the giant cock slaps you across the cheek, causing you to
fall out of your chair.  Unable to move and at your most vulnerable, the giant
cock finally lodges itself in your anus, where it rests uncomfortably for 4
maybe 5 hours.  That's what using a Mac OS X is like.  -- anonymous

Doug McIlroy doesn't have an Erdos number; Erdos has a McIlroy number.
Doug McIlroy doesn't make system calls.  System calls call Doug McIlroy.
Doug McIlroy can create 3-ended pipes.
Doug McIlroy doesn't debug.  He stares at tty0 until it fixes the problem.
Doug McIlroy's programs don't need a garbage collector; they pick up their OWN
Once, Doug McIlroy got mad at his terminal and smacked the keyboard.  The result
is called "Unix."
Alan Turing always wanted to win a McIlroy Award, but didn't qualify.  No one has.
In 1984, the Department of Justice broke up AT&T because they had a monopoly.  On
Doug McIlroy.

Saw comment // NEW BOOST CODE, and had a moment of panic before realizing it was
vehicle boost, not C++ boost -- John Carmack

<aiju> people say imperative programming is like sending a kid to the
grocery, you must specify exactly what you want or you end up with junk
<aiju> object orientated programming is then like sending a bureaucrat to
the grocery, you must fill a lot of paperwork and are guaranteed to end up with
something wrong
<taruti> and functional?
<aiju> sending your grandma which knows precisely what's best to buy but
spends her time with chitchat
<cinap_lenrek> and when someone goes on a robbery on that shop?  whats that
programming called?  :)
<aiju> assembly
<cinap_lenrek> forth is like putting all kinds of stuff in your shopping
cart and shuffeling it arround
<cinap_lenrek> prolog is like convicing the guy on the cach box to give
money to YOU for taking the stuff
<aiju> no, prolog is like telling your mom "i want cake" and she does
everything for you
<cinap_lenrek> aiju: no...  she will make all possible configurations of
cake possible
<cinap_lenrek> causing worldwide resource exhaustion
<aiju> K is like sending a chinese guy
<aiju> nobody understands what you tell him, but he gets the job done
<kfx> and then sells your secrets to his government

on the internet, no one knows you're ken thompson -- sl

VEGETARYAN -- Seen on a Hipster Hitler t-shirt.

os.Open opens the in-kernel databases, called files -- Aiju on Go's stdlib lack of
database access libraries.

<ment> IAEA does a lot of important things for nuclear safety, like
maintaining the INES scale
<aiju> wow!  they do numbers!  also, i fail to see how INES has a
relationship to nuclear safety
<ment> without INES we wouldn't know how much to panic

<aiju> i like how 2011 cell phones emulate 1970 modems

<ment> glenda is 19 years old, she wants to go out and have some fun, not to
be locked in attic and get molested by her uncle

<aiju> is he building the GNU ark?  two of each feature ..

22 commits, that's not bad for a girl -- ment

nsz@tpx:~$ strace /bin/true 2>&1 |wc -l

<sl> java applications give me lots of time to catch up on my reading.

Ruby.  Take nicely formatted Python and vomit all over it with random characters.
-- The Angry Developer

People who think that userspace filesystems are realistic for anything but toys
are just misguided.  -- Linus Torvalds  What was that website that attacked gentoo?  It was named after a
compiler flag.  -- some /g/tard

<__20h__> Conn has in upstream now no bash dependency anymore.
<kfx> upstream from what
<kfx> river of piss?

<kfx> google+ just suggested lennart poettering as a friend.

<kfx> c++ programmers wouldn't know an integer if it was wedged inside them

<__20h__> rook, no, my usage is the official god-sent standard.
<rook> __20h__: wasn't uriel your god?
<__20h__> I saw some burning bush and there was the stone man page of »tag
<__20h__> No, uriel set the bush on fire.

<aiju> 9front will have resource spoons

<maht> my worst problem holistic: I'm forced into using PHP to build XML to
post items from MySQL to eBay's.  The sum of the parts is sqrt(-1)

<laochailan> googling "OOP in ANSI C" is the best recipe for a sleep full of
horrible nightmares

19:42 < uriel> the real Chain of Command:
19:42 < uriel> Me -> World
19:42 < aiju> uriel -> *
19:43 < aiju> uriel -> god -> *
19:44 < uriel> aiju: I got rid of God a while ago, he was a fucking pain in
the ass

<flags> aiju, why use sed when I can make it a thousand times more
complicated in Python

<crazy2be> [XMPP] should use YAML inside their xml tags, make it easier to

<anschelsc> So, I've read about how horrible html and its descendants are
<sl> anschelsc: computers are horrible, do you have a solution for that?

<kfx> writing the documentation in aramaic and printing it on the backs of
live wolverines is better than docbook

<aiju> ah, philosophy has a use
<aiju> i'm using the thick nietzsche book from preventing the window to fall
shut, i should have bought the kant one, would be better

General Norton Schwartz has said that the software is the biggest factor that
might delay the USAF's initial operational capability which is now scheduled for
April, 2016.  -- John Reed Writing for, Tuesday, November 23rd, 2010
5:34 pm

But in 2011 it was revealed that only 50% of the eight million lines of code had
actually been written and that it would take another six years and 110 additional
software engineers in order to complete the software for this new schedule.

Unlike previous aircraft, such as the F-22, all software for the F-35 is written
in C++ for faster code development.  -- Eric Branyan, vice president and deputy
program manager for the F-35 Joint Strike Fighter program at Lockheed Martin

<aiju> XML at least enforces some structure, YAML is just bashing your head
to the keyboard and let the YAML parser figure out the rest

"SHOULD NOT", "RECOMMENDED", "MAY", and "OPTIONAL" in this document are to be
interpreted as described in RFC 2119.

<ment> Plan 9 from Bell Labs is like the Quakers
<ment> majority of the paper spent by explaining the
operating-systems-like-churches analogy

<aiju> rockets are like bootloaders, they have multiple stages and explode
half of the itme

<aiju> green is the 2011 way of saying "expensive"


<aiju> my definition of race condition: if == black {

"the socialists discovered that their plan creates poverty, so they changed their
name to environmentalists and made poverty their goal"

linux just trumps osx so hard it's hard to believe they descend from the same code

anyone who uses the terminal in linux is pretty stupid considering that most of
its commands have solid stable gui equivalents these days

<ment> respect my certficate authoritah!

<__20h__> Everything I say today is under the influence of alcohol.
<aiju> okay and how is that different from usual?
<__20h__> It's more sane.

<aiju> if PCRE doesn't support a feature, the PCRE guys just haven't heard
of it

<sl> if the general populace realized computers relied upon mathematics they
would stop using the internet immediately

<cinap_lenrek> did someone put a mount in your mount so you can walk while
you walk?

<kfx> 9front has always been at war with 9atom.

<kfx> you guys are surely cynical, but neither of you worked for the United
States Government as long as I did

<sl> the government is best suited to manage nuclear weapons because they
could not possibly successfully conduct a nuclear war.

If you want a picture of the fossil(4), imagine a boot stamping on a hard drive --

<aiju> rob pike on IRC?  that's like Jesus Christ on Facebook
<uriel> and ken on irc would be like the Holy Spirit on MySpace

Nobody wants to say how this works.  Maybe nobody knows ...  -- - xorg.conf(5)
manual page

<sl> we need separate man pages [for each 9front game]
<aiju> we need man and woman pages
<sl> wymyn games
<EthanG> yeah, that way the pages can reproduce on their own and we won't
have to make them
<f2f> good luck with that.  subtle typos introduced during reproduction can
be inherited.

<f2f> ; man manman
<f2f> "man page man: fight documentation decay by documenting things using
words to describe their actions"

<EthanG> if your command needs an info page, it has a more urgent need to be
buried and forgoten

<sl> mpl: i just meant, knowledge of each program in that list of programs
compliments each other.
<f2f> "you're a very good program" said the other program

<cinap_lenrek> staring at catclock -> being artist 24h a day!

craftd keeps modern UNIX daemon philosophy in mind.  This includes best practice
like async polling I/O, multi-threading, and use of high quality libraries
whenever possible.

<aiju> i only use high quality organic libraries from local farmers

<sl> this discussion causes autism.
<martian67> *is caused by

<sl> autism rates increase in tandem with tax rates.

We use Linux for all our mission-critical applications.  Having the source code
means that we are not held hostage by anyone's support department.  -- Russell
Nelson, President of Crynwr Software
kfx: We use Linux for all our mission-critical applications.  Having the source
code means that we are held hostage by Red Hat's support department.
__20h__: ...  means that we are held hostage by the development decisions of
Lennart Poettering.

quintile: if your kids aren't narcissists then there is probably somthing wrong
with them.

aiju: RoR lacks support for self-signing-oriented NoSQL-based XML over YAML
shader-based metadata-oriented solution

aiju: programming is serious business, no place for hippie lovefests

The telephone, like the telegraph, post office and the railroad, is only upon
extraordinary occasions used or needed by the poor.  It is demanded, and daily
depended upon, and should be liberally paid for by the capitalist, mercantile, and
manufacturing classes.  -- Charles Fay commenting on Bell's telephone charges in

kfx: I approve of 9front's method of handling bug reports: bug is filed ->
attempting to view bug crashes google server -> SUCCESS

aiju: we need a program to generate C code like bullshit
kfx: aiju: we have that program, it's called "lennart"

aiju: Masturbation has many applications, e.g.  aerodynamics or quantum theory.

__20h__: The only reason for me to learn French was to be able to order beer in
the western provinces.

__20h__: [when we invade France] we will first teach all of you German and the
German mindset.  The first concept we will introduce is called »work«.

landley: My general theory is that anything directly involved with the gnu project
is run by crazy politicians who only do software as a sideline to their religious
advocacy work.

what's the opinion of the catholic church according to condoms on dildos?  -- 20h

apple developers are like abused wives -- martian67

Sweden has a high standard of living because they have 60% income tax -- aiju's

if physics was like computing, we'd go back to geocentrism because it's flashier
-- aiju

MySQL was the first NoSQL database

I've programmed Haskell before, no amount of boilerplate can scare me -- vegai

lieber eine funktionierende lösung als eine echte Freundin (rather a working
solution than a real girlfriend) -- Sakuya, markov bot

dreadlorde: [on hearing the news that dmr had died] why couldn't bjarne stroustrup
have died instead?
martian67: one good person and one bad person have to die in pairs
martian67: so the universe stays in ballance
martian67: steve jobs died, so that means somebody that did some seriously
important good things had to go too :/

aiju: Faust wouldn't be a tragedy if the protagonist had a vasectomy!

[cinap] doesn't seem to sleep.  he says that he just stares at catclock for a

if you quit on school, you're not just quitting on yourself, you're quitting on
your country -- Obama

Faust II is a great example of the second system effect -- Aiju

I can no longer sit back and allow NIX infiltration, NIX indoctrination, NIX
subversion and the international NIX conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our
precious cats.  -- cinap_lenrek

kfx bases a system of government on forced sodomy

shadowdaemon> I tested DNS Bench from against Plan 9 running in
VirtualBox and fossil died.

aiju> we need objectivism oriented programming!

<cinap_lenrek> ports are the economic engine for the elite
<cinap_lenrek> occupy port 80!

venti can store data, but not delete it, fossil can delete data, but not store it,
they complement each other perfectly!

sl | most entertaining is new 9front users wandering into #plan9 asking for help
with 9front specific features
sl | you can almost hear the macbook lids slamming shut in anger

kfx | I have no idea how you travel around a foreign country without an assault
kfx | I mean I've done it but I always just make my wife do everything
kfx | I'm not sure how you even buy cigarettes without yelling in russian and
drawing a pistol

cinap_lenrek | we demand mothra compatibility for google services
cinap_lenrek | if google doesnt come to mothra, mothra will come to GOOGLE!
cinap_lenrek | and DESTROY IT
cinap_lenrek | WITH DEATHRAYS

sl | fossil.pdf is used to scare children at night before going to sleep.

kfx | plan 9 does not support physical hardware.

9fags is a Mac support group -- Hiro

sl | gsoc 2012: reinstate /lib/meinkampf
sl | this sounds like a good student project

kfx | the workers control the means of abstraction

programs are mostly bugs wrapped in some user interface -- cinap_lenrek

kfx | I do not read hacker news
kfx | I would if any hackers were present on it

kfx | haha plan 9 wasn't accepted to gsoc 2012
aiju | kfx: yeah, there probably already was an OS X entry

ment> everytime i see "google plus" i hope it's "google plus vellocet,
synthemesc or drencrom"

martian67 | SAP is the pinacle of the german approach to problem solving: if it
isnt working, there clearly isnt enough rules and procedures in place

pseud0cod3r> xml is everywhere, like god

The Android SDK archive initially contains only the basic SDK tools.  It does not
contain an Android platform or any third-party libraries.  In fact, it doesn't
even have all the tools you need to develop an application.  -- Android SDK Readme

Be a better bastard.  -- Josh Brandt
...and the world will beat a luser to death at your door.  -- Carl Jacobs

Maybe, but I think I'd like to propose Schwartz' Second Law (anybody who reads or
lurks on r.a.a.m should be able to find my First Law), namely: "The consquences of
any action will never be fully understood until after it's too late to do anything
about it." An obvious corollary: the sysadmin will be the one who gets blamed for
it, despite having warned them several times before.  -- Eric The Read

Embrace your inner cynicism.  Delight in the joy of knowing, with complete
certainty, that the world is filled with idiots, losers, and all other assorted
manner of higher life forms, and that a great many of of them trying their
damndest to win the competition for "Species Least Likely To Be Useful".  I
figure, they'll probably lose that competition too, proving once again that the
cockroach is mightier than the "man".  -- Jeff Gostin

aiju> Ayan Rand is not just a troll, she is the trolling equivalent of neutron
radiation, she is an endless source of new trolls

aiju> reddit is the place where misanthropes are born, just a glimpse and i
already want to drop nukes on all major cities

aiju> paul krugman is the lennart poettering of economics

Rob Pike: Is it feasible to write C that looks like C any more?  I guess that ship
has sailed.
Michael Jones: ...and Steve Bourne was its captain.
Rob Pike: That's incorrect.  Bourne's version of C was Algol-68.  Gcc's version
is....  a lot of underscores on things.

Only a web standard would use "Noah's Ark" as a term meaning that you have 3 of
something.  -- Russ Cox

I just read that George R. Martin does all his writing on a DOS machine and
Wordstar 4.0, no wonder he manages to get so much done -- vegai

SmoothPorcupine> kfx, it's really hard for me to imagine you using a computer.
SmoothPorcupine> I always figured you just stared it down until it worked.
kfx> SmoothPorcupine: sometimes I have to punch it

cinap_lenrek> "i'v seen titanic AND avatar!  i'm movie enthusiast expert!"

I like offending people because I think people who get offended should be
offended.  -- Linus Torvalds

User-Agent: hjdicks

aiju> from browser error messages my mother has deduced that there is some kind
of central thing called The Server
aiju> which runs the entire internet

BenceF> haskell code compiles only if you write a phd on it

hiro_> a game shouldn't have a fucking menu, menu is for pizzas

 __20h__> kfx, as you can see.  We are just the voices speaking in uriel's hea


cinap_lenrek> i will not buy this vterm_screen_set_damage_merge, it is

zozoR> windows does not use utf-8
moraes> windows uses Windows Transformation Format
moraes> aka wtf-8

__20h__> Stalin is the basis of Urielism
__20h__> You need to read him for understanding what Uriel says.

cinap_lenrek> filtering the internet is like trying to vacuum the desert

XML types and type derivation are syntactic shorthands for what amounts to regular
expressions embedded in a recursive punctuation tree.  -- Anonymous Coward


aiju | > turn on computer
aiju | The screen flickers.  It shows: "Plan 9 from bell labs".  You see interrupt
route code failing.
cinap_lenrek | "the computers display seems to be on, but it stoped after printing
memory sizes"
aiju | > examine interrupt routing code
aiju | It's broken.
aiju | > fix interrupt routing code
aiju | You can't.
aiju | > read x86 documentation
aiju | You grew a beard.
aiju | You now know about x86 interrupts.
aiju | > fix interrupt routing code
aiju | You can't.
cinap_lenrek | > read ACPI specification
cinap_lenrek | You wake up in hostpital
aiju | >fix interrupt routing code
aiju | Okay.
aiju | > boot computer
aiju | The machine shows an rc prompt.
aiju | > release code
aiju | You've been eaten by a grue.
khm | You have been eaten by a GNU/Archlinux user.

Of course tablets mean freedom.  Sent from a vt100 terminal.  -- 20h

everyone knows copycatting is wrong.  this is why you teach a child to speak by
hitting them with a stick.  -- sl

anytime a new dbus conf is installed you need to restart dbus daemon but this way
running applications using dbus crash immediately proper way is to reload dbus
configuration instead of restarting it -- Post in the Tiny Core Linux forum

there is no feature so bad that some people won't love it.  -- aiju

Soon Unix had the mass of Andre the Giant, the body of the Elephant Man, and the
mind of a forgotten Jack Nicholson character.

The worst strain was on Unix's mind.  Unable to assimilate all the conflicting
patchworks of features it had ingested, its personality began to fragment into
millions of distinct, incompatible operating systems.  People would cautiously say
"good morning Unix.  And who are we today?" and it would reply "Beastie" (BSD), or
"Domain", or "I'm System III, but I'll be System V tomorrow." Psychiatrists
labored for years to weld together the two major poles of Unix's personality,
"Beasty Boy", an inner-city youth from Berkeley, and "Belle", a southern
transvestite who wanted a to be a woman.  With each attempt, the two poles would
mutate, like psychotic retroviruses, leaving their union a worthless blob of
protoplasm requiring constant life support to remain compatible with its parent

Finally, unbalanced by its own cancerous growth, Unix fell into a vat of toxic
radioactive wombat urine, from which it emerged, skin white and hair green.  It
smelled like somebody's dead grandmother.

Bruce Schneier used to shave with Occam's razor, but decided growing a manly beard
was simpler.

aiju | my DH key exchange is so secure, not even the other client knows the secret

“aestheticles: n.  The little-known source of aesthetic reactions.  If your whole
body feels like going into a fetal position or otherwise double over from the pain
of experiencing something exceptionally ugly and inelegant, such as C++, it’s
because your aestheticles got creamed.” -- Erik Naggum

06:26:12 cinap_lenrek | apparently, nobody needs anything we do
06:27:27 cinap_lenrek | i just build sand castles
06:27:33 cinap_lenrek | stuff i need myself
06:27:44 cinap_lenrek | plan9 is a great desert to build sand castles
06:27:52 cinap_lenrek | lots of sand there
06:28:13 cinap_lenrek | everywhere else, all you have is stinking mud or something
06:28:21 cinap_lenrek | not mutch fun to build anything

I'll often drop down to node.js if I really need to be close to the metal

hiro_ | there is this traffic overlay in google maps.  they should make all
netherlands show "slow" all the time, even in traffic jams in Germany people go
faster than in the netherlands on average

The thing you have to remember about "hacker news" is that nothing posted there is
news and none of the people who frequent it are hackers.  "Web Developer with an
Unwarranted Sense of Self-Importance" just doesn't roll off the tongue quite as
readily as "hacker," just like "link-dump and self promotion" doesn't have the
same ring as "news." -- Kurt H. Maier

Running on 10 million lines of code that control over 100 computerized components,
the Chevrolet Volt is the epitome of how cars are built on a smarter planet.  --
Promotional text for IBM's (i)Rational platform.

"ioctl is a closet full of skeletons" -- doug

aiju: will you also claim that stabbing someone is "not really different from
performing appendectomy"

it's a bit counterintiutive that javascript was supposed to make the web more
responsive, but ended up making it slower -- DMorsing

I’ve not seen much evidence that people love other people for sensible reasons.
-- Stanley Lieber:

hell is other people's unix.  -- sartre

hell is other people's code.  -- aiju

__20h__ | The »GNU/Turd« term is a trademark of uriel.

__20h__ | Accept your religion and force yourself to read Nietzsche and uriel.

cinap_lenrek | aiju should write a pdp-11 emulator for plan9, and call it 911
uriel | or 9/11
cinap_lenrek | when someone asks, we can say "aiju did 9/11"

aiju | i'll make my own kernel and call it jfk -- julius' fucking kernel
aiju | and then i'll stop maintining it
aiju | "i killed jfk"

When I hear about Schrödinger's cat, I reach for my gun.  -- Stephen Hawking

jpi | uriel: wrote __20h__ in Go.

The word "voluntary," as used in Flora and in IRS publications, refers to our
system of allowing taxpayers to determine the correct amount of tax and complete
the appropriate returns, rather than have the government determine tax for them.

sl | was like john the baptist in 'the last temptation of christ'

"Unix makes everything harder" -- Rob Pike, 1989
"But it's nothing compared to OpenVMS" -- aiju, 2012

khm | once rhel7 becomes commonplace, linux will basically be a cross between
windows xp and os x

aiju | lua combines the simplicity of java with the power of basic

OS X is using a newer networking philosophy taken from the plan 9 operating
system, where everything is file based kinda thing.  -- RoboTamer in the go-nuts

aiju | "the safeword is /sbin/halt"

taruti | as long as it is rack :)
aiju | now to figure out what "rack" is in fetishspeak
taruti | aiju: Risk-Aware Consensual Kink :)
aiju | RISC-Aware CC-onsensual Kink
taruti | <3
sl | are there standards committees for this kind of thing yet
aiju | ISO 69 standard
cinap_lenrek | XXXOpen standard
taruti | committee organized sexual contact can be weird...

19:54:57 __20h__ | There were times when you could easily buy a wife.
19:55:10 aiju | __20h__: you still can!
19:55:26 __20h__ | aiju, yeah, but jurisdication is giving the wife rights too.
19:55:32 aiju | polish bride by mail order
19:56:03 __20h__ | I can try them all out in a one-hour drive.
19:56:31 mischief | Twife Rwife
19:56:38 taruti | __20h__: or you just need someone that submits to you willingly
19:56:42 __20h__ | Hm, there is no restriction on how many wives you can import
through inner EU borders.
19:56:53 taruti | __20h__: much more fun if you don't have to worry about
19:57:08 __20h__ | taruti, never trust a slave.
19:57:40 aiju | backstabbing sounds like normal marriage to me
19:58:21 taruti | aiju: I prefer things like happiness :P
19:59:07 __20h__ | »happiness« is a desire of the lower classes.
19:59:50 aiju | happiness through plan 9
20:00:11 taruti | then again marriages are icky things by the bourgeoisie that
oppress women :P
20:00:28 __20h__ | taruti, actually, we know how to use our tools.  :P
20:01:19 taruti | __20h__: I am just saying that someone that submits from their
free will is much more enjoyable (e.g.  more creativity).
20:01:32 taruti | __20h__: but perhaps we just have different tastes :)
20:01:41 mveety | i love how much fossil sucks
20:01:55 taruti | mveety: did it eat your mom?
20:02:11 aiju | no, but that's the problem
20:02:27 mveety | taruti: not recently.  good idea for dinner tonight though
20:02:42 taruti | :)
20:02:45 aiju | fossil does not oppress women enough
20:03:06 aiju | still no /lib/mallusmalificarum

cinap_lenrek: we can no longer stand dynamic library corruption, dll subversion,
dll indoctrination and the international dll dependency conspiracy to impurify our
precious process memory images

Donar: for instance, the ratio of useful stuff/troll on this channel is close to
zero, I think.  At least closer to zero than I expected when joining.
cinap_lenrek: working like intended

(#cat-v) khm → occasionally someone on hacker news will link to an article so they
can all misunderstand it together